The world is so confusing sometimes

When will we finally reach peak gibberish in science spam?

Dear Author,

Formatting as in original - an auspicious start.

Journal of Proteomics & Bioinformatics greets you a good day!!!!

That's a new one, but at least it isn't "greetings of the day". Also, by the way, I really don't understand why my spam filter cannot finally figure out that anything that has more than one exclamation mark in a row can be binned immediately.

We are in shortfall of articles for successful release of Volume 10, Issue 10.

See this circle? That is my circle of caring. The fact that this alleged journal cannot fill its issue is about 5,000 kilometers outside of my circle of caring. So...

Is it possible for you to support us with your transcript for this issue before 30th October?

What do they mean with "transcript", which is usually a sheet showing university marks (grades)? Do they not even know the word manuscript?

If this is a short notice please do send 3-4 pages Short Commentary or Mini Review, and hope that a 5 pages article will not take much time for an eminent like you.

What does this sentence even mean? Help?

Also it will be very kind of you if you can acknowledge the receipt of this email and give your opinion to our proposal.

Better not, because if I honestly gave my opinion of their proposal there would have to be some bad language involved.

Best wishes,
Susan Williams

As usual, if this was written by somebody actually called Susan Williams... oh, excuse me, Susan Williams, then I will not only eat my hat but a whole stack of hats.

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In completely unrelated news, why does GBIF suddenly use hexagons?

This looks as if somebody tries to draw in more people who enjoy strategy computer games, but it seems a bit odd given that spatial studies generally use square grid cells, either equal area or degree-based.